Welcome to Arkham
by Devontis
Summary: What happens when 2 people are put in an asylum? Better yet: Batman's Arkham Asylum? This is co-written by author Leopardfang of Moonclan. Please check out her ongoing series: a Harry Potter and Wolf's Rain crossover. Read it to find out more.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 &amp; 2: Samuel 'Sam' Macine

Today was not my day. Even before I got sucked into my video game. It all started in the morning, when, as soon as I woke up, fell of my bed onto hard, cold wood that is my floor. After that, it was the normal routine of my morning (breakfast, shower, other) and off to my final days of the sophomore half year. In case that was too much for you, it was finals for the first semester. I, of course, had no problems with them, but I did have problems with the other students. For one, they complained too much on it being too hard, or not enough time to prepare, or some other pathetic excuse they pulled out of thin air. For another, they kept on asking me for the answers,** the pathetic fools**. Like I had all the answers right away. I did, of course, but no need for them to know that.

However, things really turned for the worst. All that bravado left me when it came to my Spanish final. I nervously finished with my memory fading in and out of what was the translation of a word from English to Spanish and vice versa. What made it worse was that I had to give up more of my precious money to keep the kids from taking my food or my stamina/body by force. Once I got back home, I instantly got on the computer and watched my favorite anime. After a few episodes, I got bored enough to call up one of my only friends, who was Regina 'Reggie' Lycan. Reggie happened to be available, so we agreed on meeting Sunday to play a few games. This helped me go through the rest of my finals, which were tedious, but not hard in the slightest. On Saturday, I did what I normally did: look for a job that could pay me a bit more than my current one, which was to create more powerful firewalls. It was fun, but_ not suited towards my skills._ I couldn't wait to see Batman **fall to his death, get eaten, and many more violent deaths.**

_Fuck, not him. I thought he was going to be sleeping for this part. Can't we shut him up for the next few minutes?_

Ah, I should explain it to the ones listening to this. You see, my mother left as big an influence as my father did, before they both left for reasons I won't go into. I got my father's skill on technology and his smarts in other areas related to that. I got my mother's insanity and split personality disorder, though in a smaller dose, for I have only two other personalities. I am a more logical thinker, working frequently with technology and the like. Then there's the next side of me, who deals with more emotional actions and jobs, which is why I have both interest with acting and computers. Finally, there's the more… interesting side of me who deals with more psychopathic tendencies, as seen earlier. Thankfully, in this day and age, there are many video games that involve killing, so I can stave off those tendencies for a good amount of time.

_For now, just call me Winston._

**And call me Ripper.**

Just to rant for a moment, how the flying fuck are we supposed to accomplish anything in high school and college? They don't teach us anything important, like taxes and insurance. Instead, I have to learn how to do an advanced form of algebra that won't appear anywhere except in construction and accounting, which seem to me like horrible and despicable jobs. And the lunches they give always tend to range from slightly tasty (a.k.a a miracle) to the worst thing made since the idea for a cheap fast food place on a budget (bad day). Then there's Spanish. I only have three words: cheap, universal translator. Social studies wasn't horrible (hooray for American wars), but I still felt like I was trapped in that class. Gym wasn't so bad. And in that sense, I mean I was out of breath after 5 minutes, which is actually a new record for me. English (along with Science) are the only classes I don't have utter contempt for, but I don't enjoy limiting my reading options and in Science, I typically only get my work done due to Reggie, who keeps me (mainly) on track. Choir is the only class I actually enjoy, but I hate working with the other fuckwits who don't know their notes and pitches. It really irks me off if their deliberately singing off pitch during the song because they didn't want to put in any effort. Arrrghhh! (...). Okay I'm calm now. School rant over.

Reggie 'Regina' Lycan

As a general rule, my life is a big shit load of crazy, freaky and bizarre. What about my life is so weird? Where should I start? For one, my dad runs a funeral parlor. Yeah, he's the guy that make dead cousin Sally look all pretty in her casket before they bury her. I help out, arranging flowers and putting on makeup and stuff, and keeping any lingering spirits out. Yeah, sometimes the dead tend to hang out at the parlor, either A) not realizing they're dead or B) not wanting to 'go into the light' or whatever. It's my job to make them leave, either through gentle coaxing or force. How do I force spirits to leave? Well, I have two ways of doing this.

First of all, I'm a witch. Yeah, a witch. The kind that will cast a spell on you if you piss her off so here's a tip, don't piss me off. Jenny Carlson learned this lesson the hard way, apparently choosing to dress in all black like some 'gothic freak' is weird and pathetic. She kept making fun of me and knocking my books out of my hand and it wasn't just me, she was a grade A bitch to everyone so, I may or may not have cast a curse on her that caused her car to break down, her boyfriend to dump her and for her to fail that huge social studies test. Yeah, I don't play around.

My second option is to send Shadow after them. You see when I was five, not long after my mom died from cancer, I started seeing a shadowy figure in my room. It wasn't a human but it wasn't mean to me. I called him Shadow and he played with me as a little girl, gave me someone to talk to and even came to me in my dreams and he still does. You see, Shadow is a demon from hell. My mom was willing to sell her soul in order to give me this body guard type friend to look after me until I die. He really only takes the form of a shadow, like from that movie the Princess and the Frog.

My dad drive me to school, in the hearse. Yeah, ya know the thing that's used to transport the coffin to the graveyard. That only further cements the rumor of me being a demon worshiper in the eyes of my fellow students. Now, I may work with demons but I don't sacrifice puppies and kittens to Satan. I mean, I'm a witch, not a monster. I also have a coffin for my bed. What? It's cozy! But I'm not allowed to nap in the coffins in the actual parlor. There was an incident when I was fourteen.

I had fallen asleep in one of the coffins downstairs after school and a family that was burying their grandfather grabbed the wrong casket (the one I was in) and brought it to the cemetery. It was a closed casket funeral. I had woken up just when they put the coffin in the ground. I opened the casket with a huge yawn, and got a shovel full of dirt in my face and mouth. Needless to say no one was happy.

Today was semester finals day at school. Let's start with math. I used to be good at it, but then they started adding the alphabet to it. I mean really? Xy+8a/70% of the mass of the sun? When will I ever use this? That's what google is for! Next came my Japanese final, I felt decent enough about that. Next was gym, I felt pretty good about that except when they told us to start labeling the muscles in the body. I didn't know I was also taking anatomy! Next was English and since I read the book like I was supposed to I felt really good about that. Next was social Studies which was pretty much just a vocab quiz. I felt pretty good about that and then I finally had science. I felt that I either did really well or really bad on that test. After that I had study hall where I basically just took out my iPod and started watching YouTube. I had finished watching an episode of Cursed when my friend Sam texted me about going over to his house to play video games. Dad didn't need my help so I was free to go over.

3rd Person

After getting through all their finals (and rants about their lives), they had met up at Sam's place to play some video games. However, trouble would soon set in...

"What the fuck did you do to my order?!" Sam yelled at Reggie.

"I was looking for a video game to play. I was putting them into piles of ones I want to play and one's I don't want. Well..." Reggie said, looking at all the floating video games. "Their actually sorting themselves, I'm just helping them make decisions." Shadow, who was on the floor next to Reggie snickered before tugging on her hair. "HEY!"

"I had it in a nice precise order that shouldn't have been messed with! Now it's going to take me hours to get back to where everything was!"

"Dude, that's what magic is for. Ow!" Reggie yelped. Shadow was still pulling on her hair. "Shadow, cut it out!"

"Why is he pulling your hair?" Sam said, a bit calmer now and more curious.

"He may be a demon but he's more mischievous than anything. That's it!" Reggie snapped, glaring down at the shadowy being. "Shadow, if you aren't going to play with my hair nicely, you won't get any candy." Reggie said, holding up a Hershey's mini chocolate bar. Shadow made a whining sound before he stopped and began to braid her hair, even though it looked like her hair was braiding itself. "Good boy." Reggie said before breaking off a small chocolate square and tossing it into the air. Shadow cheered and the chocolate disappeared into thin air.

"*sigh*. Well, did you decide on a game yet?"

"Yes." She said before singing Hallelujah. She was levitating the video game Batman: Arkham Asylum and making it glow in a golden light as though it was a gift from God. Which arguably too many it was.

"Well, if the drama and the light can disappear, then we can take turns playing it. Dibs on final boss fight!"

"Oh alright." Reggie sighed before putting the game into the Xbox. "Joker, you're going down, BITCH!"

It was then that a different light came from the Xbox. It wasn't the melodramatic light as seen before, but a soft blue light. It started to get a bit bigger after the start screen popped up. Then, in a flash of blue light, the game started to get bigger and more life-like. Then, it all faded to black.


	2. Chapter 2

Arkham Asylum

Reggie P.O.V

My head was spinning like crazy. I felt like I was gonna throw up. I felt that I was walking, I mean, my legs were moving.

"Inmate #6793. What's your name young lady?" I heard a voice ask.

"Regina Lycan." I responded automatically. Wait a second. Inmate? I blinked and tried to rub my eyes only to realize that my hands were in handcuffs.

"Age?" The same voice asked. I looked up and saw a lady in a lab coat behind a glass wall looking at me.

"19." I replied. Similar questions were asked.

"Birthday?"

"May 29th."

"Any allergies?"

"Keflex medications."

"Any history of mental illness or disabilities?"

"No."

"Any living relatives?"

"My dad and my grandma."

"Names."

"Nathan Lycan and Ruby Lycan."

"Please stand on the scale."

I did, normally I would be asking more questions but the super buff guards with the AK-47's kept me from doing so. Crazy and suicidal are two different things my friends.

"Approximate height, 5'9, weight 127 pounds. You're in Block A, cell 246. Get her to the shower and then get her a uniform. Welcome to Arkham Asylum Miss Lycan."

Wait. What?! ARKHAM ASYLUM?! I purposefully stumbled in an attempt to wake myself up. Nothing, just a scraped knee and some meathead roughly jerking my arm to get me back on my feet. I looked down at my shadow.

"Shadow?" I whispered quietly. I saw my shadow shift in a way that wasn't me. I smiled, at least I wasn't without protection. I could hear Sam converse with himself on doing something reckless and stupid. And he did.

Sam P.O.V

My head felt like it was being used as a drum. I felt myself move in a nice, precise order behind many others. Then I heard them say something

"Inmate #6794. What is your name young man?"

"Samuel Macine" I respond immediately. Stupid cops. Putting me in a jail. I was just trying to find my way around.

"Age?" I hear the now more feminine voice saw. I look up for a moment and see a few doctors looking down on me.

"19." More questions were asked.

"Birthday?"

"October 31st."

"Any allergies?"

"Apart from the usual, no."

"Any history of mental illness or disabilities?"

"My mother."

"Any living relatives?"

"Not since I heard last."

"Please step on the scale."

I wanted to ask some questions, any questions, but the guards tended to point their guns at me unless I was answering a question.

"Approximate height, 6'0, weight 135 pounds. You're in Block A, cell 247. Get him into the showers and get him a uniform. Welcome to Arkham Asylum, Mister Macine."

Shit, Arkham? As in, BATMAN, ARKHAM ASYLUM?!

**Yes! Time to kill a few worthless mortals!**

_Hang on, now, let them live. Plus we don't want to attract attention to any of the main baddies._

I then realized I had conversed with myself out loud, what with the guards giving me strange and fearful looks along with the doctors giving me a fearful expression.

**Which is always good in my book.**

_Great. Now we have the staff getting worried about us. Let's make sure we're-_

**Fuck you! I'll have some fun!**

And with that, my powers activated and shocked everyone holding a metal object, which happened to be everyone. Luckily, my shocking only gives you a real jolt and doesn't fry you to a cinder and I'm immune to my powers. Unfortunately, I now have the undivided attention of the staff, which meant I thought I was being put somewhere else. I swear I could almost hear Reggie calling me an idiot. As I came to the realization that I had done something that could get me killed, I thought they would put me with the top priority prisoners, which I figured would mean along the lines of The Riddler, The Joker, and Poison Ivy. Then, out of nowhere, this huge black thing popped out and scared the hell out of everyone, except me. I was intrigued by this creature and, coincidentally, wondering why Reggie looked very excited.

Then it clicked: This darkness was hers and was trying to scare them for some reason. They would also probably put her in the same area as me, since, you know, that was a smart idea. We'd even have adjoining cells, just like before.

Then, the big shadow disappeared. Everyone was frozen for a second before they continued going on. Reggie frowned, clearly they hadn't connected the shadow to her. I wonder what she was going to do next.

"WTF JUST HAPPENED?!" I shouted to Reggie.

"HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW?!" She screamed back.

"YOU DID THIS!"

"NO I DIDN'T!"

"SHUT UP!" One of the guards yelled.

**"STAY OUT OF THIS!"** I yelled at the guard as Ripper.

"GET OUT NOW!" yelled the guard, lifting up his gun at me. Wanting to live, I quickly ran to the showers, which thankfully was empty for the moment. I had a relatively good experience, especially since I got to shock a guard that looked at her like a pervert. But it was never my fault. I then went out in my prison uniform, which was exactly as you pictured it, except it was orange and black and the Arkham logo on the front.

Reggie P.O.V

I was freaking out. How the fuck did me and Sam get in a video game? More importantly, I didn't want to eat Asylum food. Sam and I were lead away to different areas. Walking into the room with like, eight other girls I saw a long row of shower head.

"Put your clothes in the hamper." The guard said. Crap, all my stuff was in my black trench coat. Sighing, I shrugged off my coat.

"You better bring some of my stuff back to my cell." I growled quietly down to my shadow. A small flicker of movement was his only response. Once I was stripped down to nothing I was blushing furiously red in anger and embarrassment that meathead of a guard was opening looking at all of us girls.

'Pig.' I thought to myself and glared at him. He raised a mocking eyebrow and subtly fingered the gun strapped to his belt. Swallowing what little pride I had left, I scrubbed my hair and body, wondering how long it would be before I got another shower. But then I noticed him shaking a bit like he got static electricity and started glaring over at the boys shower room.

Once I was done I was handed an orange Arkham Asylum jumpsuit. I quickly zipped it on. It looked like a classic prisoner's jumpsuit, long sleeved, orange, except it had Arkham Asylum Inmate #6793 on it. My hair was still sopping wet when we were led out of the showers.

3rd Person P.O.V

Reggie and Sam were led with the new inmates down to Cell Block A. Apparently that's where all the minor offenses go. As they looked around, they noticed that a few veterans decided to sneak in and give the newbies a fun time. And by fun, of course it meant being difficult and horrible. Apparently it was some sort of stupid initiation, like some kind of ridiculous test to be 'one of the group.' It didn't take long for the two to realize what it was.

"Suck Big Bubba's dick and he'll protect you." Reggie said sarcastically.

Sam could see she looked a little green in the face. But he went on, trying to get to his cell and ignore the threats and actions of the other inmates. Reggie decided to follow his example and walked into the cell that had her inmate number on it. It was exactly the way anyone would picture it. Thin cot, no blanket and a toilet. Sighing she fell onto the bed and put her hands behind her head.

"Hey Sam?" She called out to the cell next to her.

"Yeah Reggie?" He replied back.

"We're in Arkham Asylum." She said, still a little dumbfounded.

"No shit, Sherlock." He half-heartedly replied sarcastically.

"Any idea how this happened?" She asked.

"Magic. It's the only logical explanation" He responded quickly, maybe a little too quickly.

"I didn't do this! Besides, we're in Batman universe, logic is severely lacking in this situation." Reggie said, beginning to pick at her nails.

"Well, I was experimenting with portal technology. I could never find the right energy source.

"Your magic is apparently the key to it. So technically, it was both of our faults." Sam responded, feeling a little guilty.

"Can we not assign the blame to ourselves and simply say it's the universe trying to fuck with us?" Reggie asked.

"Much better now, thanks!" Sam happily replied.

"Okay, so. Since we're obviously stuck here, I think a good course of action would be to find out where we are in the game. Since the place isn't trashed yet, I assume it's before Joker's 'big party.'" Reggie said reasonably.

"So, we have some time before Batman arrives with the Joker. What do we do before then?" Sam questioned Reggie.

"I think we should lie low. If we're sitting next to Scarecrow when all the cells open up, we're as good as his next experiments." Reggie said.

"But wouldn't be a good idea to be near the big baddies cells when all of this goes down? It's not like Batman will visit the cells" Sam reasoned.

"True but, don't you think it would be easier to beat up a bunch of newbs then say, Bane?" Reggie asked.

"Hmmmm… Good point. But wouldn't Batman think we're just two goons, considering the outfits we have?" Sam replied.

"Here's my idea. We lie low until Joker's big homecoming. After we separate ourselves from the rest of the initial chaos, we can sneak into wherever they keep all of our stuff and then we can find a computer for you to hack and then we can figure it out from there." Reggie said.

"That sounds like a better plan than what I had. Also, COMPUTERS!" Sam happily said.

Reggie smiled. "Alright, I can hear the guards yelling about lunch. Let's see what mystery meat they serve here." Reggie sighed helplessly. She did not expect Arkham food to be any good.

"Well, typically, if it's red, it's usually okay. Otherwise, have an antidote on hand." Sam jokingly said.

Reggie got up and stretched before walking out of her cell, meeting Sam and together they followed the flow of inmates into the mess hall. They got in line, each grabbed a tray and slid along just like in the school cafeteria. The lunch lady looked like some kind of fat monkey cross bred with a pug in a hair net. Looking at the name tag, apparently her name was Olga. She ladled some greyish brown mystery meat/slime onto their trays. Sam made an interesting face at the mystery meat, and whispered to Reggie, "Have the antidote and make it double."

"Make an antidote out of what? Her nose hair?" Reggie whispered back. She grabbed a biscuit, only to realize it was as hard as a brick.

"Would that do?" Sam continued on.

"Tell you what, you yank out some of Olga's nose hairs and I'll get to work." Reggie said before grabbing some stale saltine crackers and water before taking a seat at an empty table in the corner.

"I'll shut up now." Sam said, sighing in defeat and sat right next to her.

Reggie poked the mystery meat with her spork. Sticking it in, she lifted it to her nose and took a sniff.

"Smell good?" Sam asked hopefully.

"It smells like chalk." Reggie deadpanned.

"You're messing with me, aren't you?" Sam replied, also deadpanned.

"No, I'm dead serious. Smell it." Reggie said, getting a little excited like it was a science project.

"I don't like that expression, so forgive me if I don't." Sam said taking a bite without looking at it.

"Well?" Reggie asked nervously, now realizing that the meat (was it even meat?) was what she had to eat.

"Huh. It tastes like very dry chicken." Sam said with a confused expression on his face.

"Serious?" Reggie asked before shoveling a bite into her mouth. Her eyes widened before she spat it back out. "It tastes like ass!" She gagged, rubbing her tongue on her sleeve.

"Apparently we have different tastes." Sam said in an obvious tone of voice.

"Or maybe Olga heard my nose hair comment and put something in my mystery meat."

Reggie glared at the lunch lady. "I wanna do bad things to her."

"There's not much you can do from this far away without starting a fight." Sam said.

Reggie crossed her legs and sighed. "Would using magic or sending Shadow over there for a harmless little prank cause too much of a scene?"

"That works. Now I want to see this in action." Sam said, finishing his tray without anyone noticing.

"You even finished the brick biscuit?" Reggie asked in surprise as she studied her target, trying to think of the perfect plan.

"Put it in the water for a few seconds, ended up just fine, if a bit bland." Sam replied, trying to get a good view of the upcoming attraction.

Reggie smirked. "I love being a witch." She said before muttering something under her breath.

Looking over at Olga, the monkey-pug woman was looking down at the mystery meat in confusion. It was bubbling. It continued to bubble and bubble before it exploded like a volcano right in Olga's face. Everyone noticed this, especially since this action was accompanied by a loud scream of terror and disgust. Lunch lady's face was now dripping in the mystery slime.

Reggie smirked, as did Sam. "Who is the Wicked Witch?" Reggie asked, soaking her biscuit brick just like Sam said.

"You are. Please don't become a good one. It's much more fun that way." Sam said as he got up to put away his tray. Reggie quickly ate her now mushy biscuit and drank her water before following him.

"He, he he. You are a genius." Shadow said quietly enough so that no one else could hear.

"I thought she was already." Sam quietly replied back at Shadow, winking at him.

"Aww, boys, you're gonna make me blush." Reggie smirked. She then started laughing. Olga had slipped in the mystery meat and now two guards were trying to help her up, but they slipped and fell too. As these events happened, the whole cafeteria joined in on the laughter. Apparently, Olga was not liked at all.

"Let's head back to our cells before we're somehow blamed for this." Reggie said quietly before jogging out.

"Should I say it's too late?" Sam said, looking at Olga pointing at the two and the guards quickly jogging towards them.

"Oh shit." Reggie said.

"HALT!" One of the guards yelled at them.

Reggie and Sam immediately froze. They looked at each other. They had three options, obey, run or fight.

"Fight, since I can't run worth shit?" Sam begged.

Reggie smirked before looking at the security doors. It read that upon emergency or lock down, they slam shut.

"You crush ugly one in that door and I take care of ugly two?" Reggie asked.

As Sam looked at the doors, the same idea came into his head. At first, he felt worry and guilt for the upcoming actions, but let his psychopathic side rule for a bit. **"Most certainly. I will enjoy this." **Ripper replied, using Sam's body.

Reggie P.O.V

I quickly ran off to the side. Ugly two came my way. Running around in between the tables to give me some space and time to think, I saw the washing station. Concentrating, and muttering the spell under my breath, the hoses suddenly came to life like snakes and aimed at the guard who was quickly approaching me. When he saw the washers move he stopped dead in his tracks, dumbfounded. Then I smirked and quickly ducked as the hoses sprayed scalding hot water at the guard. He screamed and stumbled backwards.

I looked down at my shadow and nodded. A dark mass slithered forward and sneaked up behind the blinded guard, tripped his shadow which caused the actual guard himself to trip. He landed with a loud thud on a table and it broke under his weight. Looking at the guard, I saw there was blood coming out of his head. He must have split his skull when he landed. Shadow quickly slithered back to my shadow in order to hide. With a wave of my hand, I canceled my spell and the hoses stopped spraying and returned to their original spot. Suddenly, I felt something hit me on the back of the head and just like that I was KOed.

Sam P.O.V

I kept on going forward, making sure I got to the door before they did with enough time to rig the doors to shut. As I ran, I noticed the little wires that could make the emergency doors activate, but only for a short while. Firm in my resolve, I suddenly turned and cut the wires that would activate the emergency shutdown. Unfortunately for the ugly guard one, he stopped just as the doors went down straight at his head. With no time to react, his head quickly became squashed, like a grape, and the resulting explosion of blood and bone made a big circle on the doors. He, needless to say, was dead before he even knew it. Then the security doors went back up, as apparently it was a false alarm. I found a spot to hide the body far enough away to not be connected by regular means and quickly took over a cleaning bot to clean up the mess. Then I felt something hard hit the back of my head and felt someone dragging me. That was the last thing I remembered before I became unconscious.

3rd person P.O.V

When the two finally woke up, they realized they were in solitary confinement. They were in separate, padded rooms and in strait jackets. A note was left with each, saying they would stay in solitary confinement for a week until they can have a trial, as apparently Batman was close to capturing the Joker. Reggie didn't even bother trying to yell, figuring that the cells were sound proof before she got an idea.

"Shadow." She said. A black shape shot out from her shadow and stood up against the wall, nothing but a shadow itself. "Can you see if Sam is ready for Joker's big party?" Reggie asked before groaning. Her head was killing her. She flopped down onto the soft padding and watched Shadow slink away through an air vent, too small for any human to crawl through.

As this happened, Sam was currently trying to combat his own headache.

"_I told you this was a bad idea. Now what are we going to do?"_ Henry said using Sam's body.

"**It was fun while it lasted. Plus, did you see the explosion of blood? That was awesome!"** Ripper replied.

"Goddamn it, Ripper. Next time, make it less noticeable." Sam replied, moaning and groaning over his headache.

After a while he noticed a big black shadow, standing there. Sam realized very quickly that this was Reggie's shadow. "What are you doing here?" Sam asked with a curious tone at the shadow.

The shadow only said "Reggie has asked me to tell you if you're ready for the Joker's party."

"Then tell her we're all ready for it. And tell her to bring a gift." Sam replied.

The shadow nodded and disappeared into the air vent. As he did, Sam thought about what he'll do to make sure he's ready for the party.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 4

3rd Person P.O.V.

It was the day. The big one. The shitstopper. The day Joker was captured. Everyone was ready with a plan for escape, minus the major players Penguin, Mr. Freeze, and the Riddler, who were currently out of Arkham. At this point, Reggie and Sam were bored out of their minds. Reggie then came up with an idea. She sat up and started scream-singing at the top of her lungs, hoping Sam would hear her.

"BUDDY YOU'RE A BOY MAKING BIG NOISE PLAYIN IN THE STREET, GONNA BE A BIG MAN SOMEDAY. YOU GOT MUD ON YOUR FACE, YOU BIG DISGRACE, KICKIN YOUR CAN ALL OVER THE PLACE, SINGING!" She could faintly hear Sam scream-singing.

"WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU! WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!" Sam could hear other people faintly singing along with him and her.

"BUDDY YOU'RE A YOUNG MAN, HARD MAN. SHOUTIN IN THE STREET GONNA TAKE ON THE WORLD SOME DAY! YOU GOT BLOOD ON YOUR FACE, YOU BIG DISGRACE, WAVIN YOUR BANNER ALL OVER THE PLACE SINGIN!"

Suddenly, a very familiar voice came over the intercom.

"WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU! Sing it all, WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU!" Joker was singing along with the rest of the inmates, clearly having a good time. "I love you kiddies!"

Reggie couldn't help but laugh. Who would've thought she'd be in an Arkham Asylum solitary confinement cell singing We Will Rock You with the Joker?

"BUDDY YOU'RE AN OLD MAN, POOR MAN PLEADING WITH YOUR EYES GONNA MAKE YOU SOME PEACE SOME DAY. YOU GOT MUD ON YOUR FACE, YOU BIG DISGRACE, SOMEBODY BETTER PUT YOU BACK INTO YOUR PLACE!"

"WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU! WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU! Singin' WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU! WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! Everybody, WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU! WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!"

After the last note, everyone started to cheer and cause havoc within their cells, except for Reggie, Sam, and the Clown Prince of Crime himself, the Joker.

"Ahhhh. This song always puts a smile on my face." The Joker commented. "So, since you managed to put a smile on my face, I've decided I won't kill you right away. But you gotta give me something in order to stay on the party list."

After the Joker had said those words, all hell broke loose as the doors to all the jail cells, including solitary confinement, were opened and everyone ran, minus of course our intrepid... villains?

Reggie managed to get to her feet and with a quick spell, untied her straight jacket. She ran to Sam's cell and did the same for him. After taking both of their jackets off they started running as well.

"ANY IDEA WHERE WE'RE GOING!?" Sam yelled over the chaos.

"NOT A CLUE!" Reggie yelled back. Then, as if lady luck decided to give them a break, they saw the security office for solitary confinement. Sam's face lit up like a Christmas tree in Vegas.

"TO THE OFFICE! I HAVE AN IDEA!" Sam and Reggie both sprinted for the door, locked it and started to make a plan.

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?" Sam yelled at Reggie in front of her.

Reggie winced. "THIS OFFICE IS SOUND PROOF, YOU DON'T NEED TO YELL!" Sam made a show of wiping some spit off his cheek, making Reggie turn red in embarrassment. "Just do your computer thing and find out where they took our stuff." She grumbled before she began looking around the office for anything they could use. Reggie found two security passes, two pistols and a mini fridge. Inside she found a lot of soda, a few cans of beer, some people's lunches and one ice cream sandwich that Reggie quickly grabbed.

"What did you find?" Sam asked as he glanced at the security footage. "Find anything good?"

Eyes wide and a mouthful of ice cream Reggie slowly said, "Nooooo..."

"Really? Because I smell ice cream. That sandwich is mine." Sam looked up and glared at her for eating the sandwich.

"Just try and take it from me!" Reggie said before shoving it down her throat. "AHHHHHHH! OWWW!" Reggie yelled before curling up in a fetal position on the floor. "Ohhh... Brain freeze..."

"Well, now I don't want it. Partially because it's currently digesting in your stomach and partially because this is very hilarious. Nice beard, by the way." Sam pointed at the crumbs and melted ice cream on her chin, which looked like a beard of crumbs.

Glaring at him, Reggie crawled over to Sam's feet and wiped her face on his prison uniform.

"YOU ASKED FOR IT!" Sam then kicked her in the chest and started to wrestle with her. Yes, this was over the now eaten ice cream sandwich during a major riot in an insane asylum.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Joker's voice came over on the intercom. "You kiddies are fighting over an ice cream sandwich while armageddon is going on!?" Joker laughed. The two of them could hear Harley laughing in the background.

"She started it!" Sam yelled at the intercom in a whiny voice, pointing at Reggie.

"He kicked me!" She said in an equally whiny voice. Which didn't work in third grade, not gonna work on the Joker.

"You ate the whole sandwich without sharing it!"

"You expected me to share my ice cream?" Reggie asked incredulously.

"Yes! It's within your power. Plus, sharing is caring." Sam replied.

"If I shared with you then I would have to give some to Shadow and then I would barely have any!" Reggie whined.

"REALLY?!" Both Shadow and Sam yelled at her, starting yet another brawl, this time with Shadow in the mix.

"YOU KIDDIES BETTER STOP OR YOU'RE NOT ON THE PARTY LIST ANYMORE!" Joker yelled, no longer in his happy voice. The brawling trio froze. Reggie's eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

"Who's touching my butt?"

"Oops." Shadow said. "Sorry."

"Now, if you three kiddies can behave, meet me in my office. It's where ol' Sharpie is. And your Uncle Joker took the position. Bring a present."

Joker ended the conversation in the midst of a laugh.

Detangling themselves Sam returned to the computer and found a map of Arkham. Smiling, he cracked his knuckles and began to deconstruct the computer.

"Whatcha makin?" Reggie asked, pinning the security pass to her uniform.

"This." Sam then showed Reggie what looked like a normal wrist watch. But, with a press of a button, a holographic projection of the Arkham map came up with two dots, one being green and the other being black. Both dots were next to each other, which meant it was them. A red line went up and around Arkham, going straight to the Warden's location.

"Did you just plug this thing into Google Maps?" Reggie asked.

"Yeah, but it didn't give me this. Any other obvious questions?" Captain Sarcasm asked.

"Yeah, want this gun?" Reggie asked, holding out a pistol and the other security I.D.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Now, can you please give me the two things?" Sam said.

"Sure," said Reggie with an overly sweet smile.

"Alright." Sam said, clipping on the security I.D. "LET'S DO THIS!" He yelled before running out the door with a hysterical Reggie trailing behind him.


End file.
